When asked, I suspect most people would describe being love as feeling strong attracted to someone else, as considering another person to be overwhelmingly desirable. When people are in love, we imagined they're constantly preoccupied with thoughts of their beloved, and that they want nothing more than to be with that person.
Actually, however, these feelings don't describe love at all. They describe lust- an initial physical attraction to another. It's overwhelmingly powerful and it's driven by pheromones, although we're not generally aware of that.
When we're madly attracted to someone else, it's because we sense (unconsciously) that they'd make an excellent genetic match, someone who would allow us to produce the strongest and healthiest offspring. Lust is all about survival of our DNA. It's not about long-term compatibility, about "happily ever after"
Love on the other hand, isn't an immediate feeling. It grows over time. Love is more akin to a friendship than coupling. Love is the desire to extend yourself-at whatever personal cost - for the purpose of nurturing the growth and furthering the dreams of another individual.
Love is effortful; it involves personal sacrifice, and it grows slowly. Love is not about "me" - what can I have? It's about "you" - what can I do to make your life richer? When we separate "lust" from "love" in this way, it's distressing to note than one in five people desire someone other than their partner.
They're simply confusing between LUST and LOVE.
Actually, however, these feelings don't describe love at all. They describe lust- an initial physical attraction to another. It's overwhelmingly powerful and it's driven by pheromones, although we're not generally aware of that.
When we're madly attracted to someone else, it's because we sense (unconsciously) that they'd make an excellent genetic match, someone who would allow us to produce the strongest and healthiest offspring. Lust is all about survival of our DNA. It's not about long-term compatibility, about "happily ever after"
Love on the other hand, isn't an immediate feeling. It grows over time. Love is more akin to a friendship than coupling. Love is the desire to extend yourself-at whatever personal cost - for the purpose of nurturing the growth and furthering the dreams of another individual.
Love is effortful; it involves personal sacrifice, and it grows slowly. Love is not about "me" - what can I have? It's about "you" - what can I do to make your life richer? When we separate "lust" from "love" in this way, it's distressing to note than one in five people desire someone other than their partner.
They're simply confusing between LUST and LOVE.
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